When everything surfaces

Over the past couple years, Things have been coming to the surface that were well hidden for many years. Sometimes, in our enjoying of our life we tend to forget all the pain that we have accidentally, subconsciously, or for whatever reason stuffed down. It takes the power the Holy Spirit getting inside of us and working these things from inside out. What do you do when the Holy Spirit begins pushing and pulling and bringing all these things to the surface? Does it bring you to your knees? Or does it bring you to Shame? Romans 8:28 tells us that ALL things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes. If this is true, and I know it is, then we must begin to learn from all of the deep dark hidden things of our past that we have never fully surrendered. The Bible says we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Lord, may those who are walking out their salvation have grace and Peace multiplied towards them and may we always walk humbly knowing that you make ALL OF US valuable!!

THERE ARE NO “I LOVE YOU BUT……”S IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD

THERE ARE NO “I LOVE YOU BUT……”S IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD

 My family and I have struggled for a while with some mentally challenging issues and it has taken quite a toll on us.  We have cried out to the Lord together on many occasions.  We have been through many valleys and a few mountain tops together.  We have all went through the pain of trauma, mental abuse, physical affliction, ADHD struggles, Bad self-perceptions, Grief from loss of two cats, and two parents/grand-parents all within the same year, times of hearing clearly from the Lord and times of not being able to see Him for all the tears that were streaming down our faces, times of rage and anger and such frustration at injustice that seemed to never end, times when we didn’t feel loved by anyone but God Himself, times where everyone around us couldn’t seem to see any good in us, and even times when we knew we weren’t “behaving” up to standard yet everyone around us still called us “good, times when the only thing we could do was in agonizingly call upon Jesus for healing and rescue because I didn’t even have the ability to “believe” for a healing or to proclaim what HIS TRUTH was in the moment. Thankfully, in all of the trials and all of the triumphs, the Lord has ALWAYS been faithful.  He speaks gently to us in times of distress as we are able to “Be still and KNOW HE IS LORD”.  I would love to say I am the so called “perfect” Christian, but I cannot.  I believe God for a lot of things, but all I am is a woman who is doing the best she can with what she has to work with.  I am flawed and VERY IMPERFECT and for some reason, the Lord chooses to send favor to use this EXTREMELY BROKEN vessel of His MERCY and GRACE.  I am one of the water pots that the Lord used to turn water into Wine at the wedding of Cana.  Unfortunately, there are times in my HUMANNESS that I have actually turned the water into WHINE. In all of this, I thank God for His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that puts no limits on us.  In our most broken times of our humanity, HE IS NOT SURPRISED OR CONDEMNING to us even though we condemn ourselves because we hate to be in the mess that we are in at times.  We have the enemy speaking lies to us such as “you are a horrible parent”, “you are not a good child” “you will never amount to anything”, “See, you are still just as broken as the day Jesus picked you up and wiped the blood off of you”, “why are you still trying to believe for a miracle, Can’t you see I am going to keep your child?”, “You can do NOTHING right”. Truth is, all of these things would be true if it weren’t for the precious blood of Jesus.  We are hopeless in and of ourselves to even understand why we do the way we do sometimes.  Truth is: what we do is not who we are.  We are valuable even if we are flawed and imperfect.  Our actions only reflect what Love we have or have not been able to receive.  Have we always received love based on if we were “behaving”?  Then, we are more likely to have a performance based behavior system.  If we believe we can’t “perform” the duties or tasks that this life requires, we see ourselves as useless and tossed out with yesterday’s garbage.  Oh what wretched miserable lives we will live if our identity is wrapped up in what we do.  I have been there A LOT (I am ashamed to even admit). No, in these times of our greatest failures and faults, it’s ok to recognize that in ourselves we can fail.  HOWEVER, the more important thing to recognize is that it is the LORD who is in you that will rise to the occasion and lead you to the TRUTH that will set you FREE!! There is FREEDOM in JESUS CHRIST because He knows your heart!  Man looks at the outside and all the stumbling you do and calls you a failure, BUT GOD sees you and says you see how much you need my salvation?  You see that you can’t do it without me?  I saw from before the foundations of the earth and already paid the penalty for your sin and the death that it has brought you.  I BOUGHT IT with my blood and I CALL YOU VALUABLE and I call you forth out of the tomb of death!! It does not matter what others may think.  They have their own issues to bring to the CROSS to be crucified so that they can be resurrected as well.  I CALL YOU VALUABLE!!! I call your children BLESSED and their hearts long for me.  They have tender hearts and just need a little extra care and tenderness.  “I have been longsuffering with you and you will be longsuffering with them”. I have given you the ability to forgive anyone who comes against what I say in your lives.  I have placed your family in the palm of my hands and you have become MINE.  I will watch over you and will do that which is needed to fulfill my will in your lives.  All you need to do is to surrender your brokenness to me and I will give you beauty for those ashes.  Let the FIRE OF GOD do the work it needs to do in your lives and you will SEE RESURRECTION POWER fulfilled.  I am taking those hearts of stone and giving them hearts of flesh that they may see me! That they may feel the passion as they walk this life and look forward to life with me.

So, as I am here broken and in need of strength to even make it through the experiences, I know Jesus holds us in His hands and knows all the valleys and trials I need to go through.  I trust Him more (even if I am doing it through gritted teeth at times).  If we were all honest and transparent, we would all admit that we are flawed.  We tend to judge others and criticize when we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.  May the Lord’s Peace and Forgiveness be received by all those who have wounded us. May they rise from any ashes of bitterness and unforgivenessand see the salvation of our mighty God is ONLY IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS! May all His servants be the Priesthood of all believers and sprinkle the Blood of Jesus on all those who have offended us.  Thank you Lord for your tender MERCIES that are new EVERY MORNING!!!